Children of Snowmen

I babysat Lucas tonight and was pretty amazed at how well he was learning to read and write. After writing my final paper on it last year for Cognitive Psych, I was pretty interested in how he read words that he was unfamiliar with; his reading style supported the indirect access hypothesis where he broke the word down into phonemes before applying meaning to it.

Now, knowing this, being able to apply a label to his style of reading; what good does that do? I guess it does facilitate being able to describe to others what I recognized. So why is that important? Maybe so we can discuss how he reads, how the school system teaches reading, etc. Why (I don't know if I will have much involvement in the school system or teaching children how to read)? Simply the conversation itself could have a impact on improving my social relationship with this hypothetical other individual. Why should we have social relationships? Instinctively I answered in my head, "Because being alone is bad."

But is it? I don't think so. Being alone sometimes, as Tess addressed recently in her blog helps us think, reflect, understand ourselves better. But being alone, without support, without knowing you have potential support, I think can make us feel very overwhelmed. Which can be very hard to live with.

Well, that branched off a little. In summary: Lucas reads well and I really like that I'm able to see and appreciate and maybe in my own small way, be a part of that.

Before turning to the snow issue, I would like to address one thing I really like about being home: listening to radio. It's something that is, for me, very particular to being home and driving. I could listen at school but it's not the same as flipping through the stations on cold mornings and hearing new songs that I enjoy.

The Snow Issue. I have heard rumors that this storm will be "historic." And that people are going crazy about it. Maybe because I'm not a homeowner or because I haven't really had any bad experiences with snow, but I don't see what all the fuss is about. I understand that people need to make sure they have food in case the roads don't get cleared, but it's not like we're going to have to resort to cannibalism or something if the roads don't get salted.

I'm not actually annoyed by people getting worked up about it, just observing, trying to figure it out.

Here's a picture. Yay snow!

Home

Here is home.

I have unpacked, but will have to repack in 20 days.

20 days.



That's pretty surreal. Not that I'm not excited, but it hasn't really sunk in. Will it? Maybe not until I'm on the plane.

I've noticed this has happened before. Like going to Egypt; I kind of just accepted that it was happening and I went. Am I just too adaptable to get nervous?

But I am excited I want to get a big old map of Oxford to hang on my wall. I really love maps.

Maybe a focus?

I think I may want to focus my psychology studies or start to focus them on something: Human Sexuality.

I'm not sure where exactly, but thinking this is definitely a step forward from where I was before (not knowing what I wanted to study in Psychology at all).

I've come to this conclusion because of some reading I did over break. While doing research for my lab report for developmental, I came across an article about human sexuality, I don't remember what one, but I remember reading it and being really interested in it. Even though this article was exactly the same structure and format of all the other articles I have been reading for 3 years, I felt really engaged by it. I wanted to understand their methods and their results and I put a lot more time into understanding the article than I felt I really had for other psych articles.

I read a bunch of articles this past week, ranging from masturbation to gender identity to non-consensual sex to sex within relationships. I feel like there is so much here I would like to study and that I can see potential paths to follow: sex therapist, educator, psychiatrist. For the first time in a while I feel much more engaged by psychology.

This is also more than just a lustful, immature desire to talk and read about sex. Seriously, I was reading journal articles about it; if I wanted to see explicit sex, I could have easily perused rest of the Internet.

And sexuality is something I've thought about before. Last year Megan and I talked about her human sexuality class and I felt like she was learning a lot of interesting things.

And I've also thought about how sexuality is such a major influencing factor in our culture, yet it seems to be taught in a very puritanical way. People are embarrassed about sex even though it's all around them. And I feel that almost everyone has some sexual aspect about them, so it's not like this topic is impractical to study or irrelevant.

I like this, this feeling of knowing something, of figuring something out. 

A Slow Process

I'm feeling a little more mature today. I've been able to have intelligent and meaningful (to me) conversations about current events (terrorism), my future (going to grad school?), relationships (family, having a family, what it is to start a family), and responsibilities (what to think about about for and after school, getting a job, etc.). And it was without feeling talked at or down to.

I felt kind of like an adult. Weird.

Thanksgiving...Break?

I've had a wonderful time here at home, seeing my family, sleeping in my bed etc., but yet here I am, at 3:20 in the morning, still doing homework. I guess could do it during the day if I didn't sleep in, but I don't know, I didn't and this work still needs to get done.

Soon, all this work will be done, I'll be off to England with my wonderful girlfriend, my excellent roommate, and my wonderful girlfriend's excellent roommate.

And what do I want from studying abroad? I want to know what it's like to be so far away from home for an extended period of time. Not that I won't miss my family or all my friend here in the US, but I just want to experience that sense of distance. I want to study something I haven't been studying here. History and literature are two subjects I really like, but I've just been really focused on all my psych classes, I haven't really done much else. It will be good to have a change of focus to reevaluate everything else I've been learning. I want to live in another country, just to say I have. I want to meet people from another culture. I think this trip will be a good experience to better help me realize how I define myself in relation to people I've never met before and how I define myself in terms of my culture, etc.

And today is a day (or yesterday was, almost 3:30 now) that we are supposed to focus on what we are thankful for. I think that's a good idea, but I wish I did it more often, because I do have so many beautiful things in my life that I should never forget. That I am healthy, that I can spend time with people I love, that my family and friends support me, that I have the abilities and the power to do so much, that I have a vibrant and fulfilling relationship with Tess, and that I have close ties with my brothers and my friends.

Well, time to move the dog off my pillow, brush off all the fur that she's shed and go to sleep.

Also, just because it's pretty funny...

Falling Behind, Getting Ahead

Well, I haven't been doing as well as I would have liked in keeping this blog updated on what's been happening.

So, quick overview of the past couple weeks.

Oxford forms all turned in.
UK Visa applied for.
Many long papers.
Many long papers finished after many late nights.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Children of Men. Inglorious Basterds.
Cleaning up cat poop at the animal shelter.
Getting a caffiene pill for a biological psych lab study.
Getting involved in creating a mission statement for the planning and development of a campus run farm.
Vegan thanksgiving.
Warm covers on cold nights.

A small break, two weeks of school, then winter break, then Oxford.

I'm noticing that right now many things seem to be counting down to going to Oxford or culminating in going there. Will it be all that it's being built up to be? What exactly am I expecting when I study abroad?

I will think about this. And hopefully remember to share it with you, loyal reader.

Oxford Forms, Homework, Other Business

So, I'm slowly turning in all the forms to go to Oxford, one by one putting down my name, address and other contact information.
Going from office to office getting signatures.
Making copies of my passport from surreptitiously obtained copier passcodes (seriously, who needs to put a password on a copier? Has this school had a problem with Soviet propaganda being copied and distributed?)
I found out that the ISIC is not required but recommended. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Is it going to be useful in the UK?
But I still have to do my visa application, something long and tedious. I emailed the coordinator at St. Peter's College, who said she would send me the proper form to fill out for a student visitor visa.

All that's left to do is fill out my medical form, turn in one form that needs to be signed by my parents (due Monday...) and get passport photos.

In other school related news:

• I am almost finished preparation for my presentation/ leading the class in discussion for Developmental Psych. My partner Jessi and I found two articles for the class to read about interview techniques in qualitative research. We came up with a bunch of questions and are meeting Tuesday before class and the discussion to talk more.
• I am working on my Powerpoint for Abnormal Psych due next Wednesday. It's not difficult and I have all my resources; I just need to get the information down on slides. It's about Isaac Asimov and whether or not he had aspergers. Current diagnosis: maybe, he seems to exhibit many of the symptoms
• Still need to do my literature review for Abnormal and my research paper (which I have done some research for) in Terrorism. The lit review is about treating Generalized Anxiety Disorder with Cognitive Behavior Therapy and the other paper is about whether Guantanamo is a threat to the U.S. Both due Nov. 20
  
• Debate in Terrorism on Nov. 30 about the KKK, have most books, need to build argument.

This Saturday I am going to the Animal Rescue Center (ARC) in Loveville (<3) to help take care of the cats there. There's 20-some cats there who need water and food and litter cleaned. I'm going with 3 other people from the Community Animal Welfare League (CAWL) here at school. I went last weekend and it wasn't too much work and most of the cats liked the attention and liked being petted and played with lasers. Another song:

Jolly Old England

So, I been accepted to go to Oxford! I am very excited to hear this and I hope that Tess, Alex, and Julia all hear back soon that they got accepted as well. I would be very, very upset if one of them didn't go.

However, with this there are lots of forms to fill out, paper to read, bills to pay, papers to mail, etc. I know I will be able to get all of it done, but it's still a lot. I've gotten a couple things done already, but there's still a lot to do, and that's stressful.

Coupled with that, I was looking at the Portal today and I happened upon forms for SMPs. I'm not sure if I want to do one. I actually just started thinking more seriously about doing an SMP as I've been typing this. I think I would like to do something related to counseling, as that has been by far, my favorite psychology class (why in a minute). So, I think I will go talk to Professor Kosarych-Coy tomorrow morning about this. I think that would be a good start and I can tell her about going to Oxford.

Okay, why I liked counseling.

• I felt I understood it really well.
  
• I am really drawn to helping people and listening to them and trying to understand them.
• Other classes (with lots of stats and brain functioning, etc) are interesting, but I would rather learn about people by hearing them tell it. No machine any authority can explain what's going on better than the individual who is experiencing it. We are all our own best judges.

If I do a SMP, I would want it to be related to counseling (I think).

Yipe.

Well, I do feel a little more organized and less stressed after writing this. That's good.

Also, a song I really like that I discovered recently.

A trip down to the river

Today I went for a walk with Tess and we went down to Daffodil Valley, a quiet, peaceful beach where I hardly ever see anyone else. And I was wondering, what is it about going to the beach or being outside like that that makes me so happy?

• It's quiet and calm
  
• It's a break from doing homework
• It's quite beautiful
• It's not like being on campus
• It's always with someone I love to spend to spend time with
  

Okay those are some reasons. But then I began to wonder, if this is such a nice place, why aren't there people here all the time? Possible reasons:

• They don't know about it
• They don't like going to beach
• They are scared of giant crickets (there was one on the beach)
• It's too far away (but really it's only like a 10 minute walk from campus)

Maybe everyone else is just completely satisfied with being on campus and they don't need to get away every once in a while. Or maybe they get away differently.

Regardless, this afternoon was quite wonderful. Full of sand, water, and prickly pear cacti (why not catuses, like octopuses, both are a little dangerous and resilient and I think kind of difficult to eat).

Well, here goes...

"Some, however would derive the word from sans terre, without land or a home, which, therefore, in the good sense, will mean, having no particular home, but equally at home everywhere. For this is the secret of successful sauntering. He who sits in a house all the time may be the greatest vagrant of all; but the saunterer, in the good sense, in no more a vagrant than the meandering river..."

Thoreau wrote this in his essay "Walking." I feel drawn to this because sometimes I feel like I am wandering, but not necessarily sauntering. Walking, but without destination. I want to learn that secret.

Writing sometimes helps me figure things out. Maybe this will help and seeing it all will bring my thoughts together.